The Fantabulous Chronicles

Life with tiny humans is never boring. There is no filter to what they may think, say, or do at any given time. To say nothing prepares you for some the the antics kids get into is a vast understatement!

We have been enjoying the summer activities of traveling, trying new things, and just soaking up family time. On our most recent trip the topic of snacks came up. Who doesn’t enjoy picking our a snack or treat from a gas station on a road trip. It’s practically a rite of passage, a statement that I am now a big kid! What could go wrong with this? Oh, let me tell you! First, there were walls of choices, which is great unless you have super indecisive kids! “I want this…..no I want this….oh I changed my mind I want this actually!” I mean I think one child managed to touch every candy that they had to offer before finally making a decision. Next, you have the conversation of which candy they chose and why its better than whatever the other kid picked. This of course comes with mispronouncing said candy. “Greasy cups (Reese Cups) are better because it has chocolate in they! ” “No, Sour Punch Kids( Sour Patch Kids) are better because you can get a whole bag full!” I don’t know where they are getting these names from, but by this point I’m ready to check out. Last, we have what I call the counter conversations. You know the ones where your kiddos tell your whole life story to the random person at the counter just because they say “Hi”? I’m sure it’s not just us. Worst thing a kid has told someone while out on an adventure…”My Mom has a baby in her tummy!” why was it bad? Aaron and I were waiting to announce until after our vacation. Funny to look back on but was definitely a questionable moment then. Needless to say we try to hurry along our kiddos reminding them that adventure awaits!

On one such adventure to a new restaurant, our middle son was convinced that Albus Dumbledore (for those of you unfamiliar with Harry Potter, he’s a wizard) had been seated at a table behind us. When I say us, I mean behind Aaron and I, but directly in front of him. I can assume you are thinking this gentleman would have had a weird nightcap hat with a long beard and hair….welp what if I told you that your guess would be wrong! This guy didn’t even have long hair or a long beard! To be fair he did have a short beard, but nothing that screamed Dumbledore to me. Yet here we were with a 4 year old excitedly shouting “There’s Dumbledore!…. Dumbledore is eating with us!…. I can’t believe Dumbledore is right over there!” My face must have turned 50 shades of red. I’m sure this gentleman was equally baffled and maybe perplexed as to what this small boy was going on about despite Aaron and I attempting to shush his admiration. Luckily we were just waiting for the check so we weren’t trying to convince our otherwise quite child that Dumbledore was trying to enjoy a meal without being shouted at for too long.

Next on this list of tales is one that I would never in a million years think I would have to tell, but here I am! We were at an outdoor charity event when nature called. Our son was busty, so I walked with him to the nearest port-a-potty station. I had a backpack with essentials and baby items on which made going into the port-a-potty with him difficult. So I told him to use the potty while I wait outside and hold the door for him. It never occurred to me that this was his first time using a potty like this. BIG MISTAKE! I crack the door to check on him to find him holding the puck from the urinal in his hands attempting to wash his hands in said urinal. I immediately asked what are you doing? He responded so sweetly “I can’t get the sink to work, mom.” I then had to explain that what he thought was a sink was actually a boy potty, even though he’s used one at several gas stations, and the “soap” was a scent thing to help it not small as bad. I guess I failed the boy mom test, but at least we found a sink with soap and he finally was able to thoroughly wash his hands. I may have sanitized his hands a few times too, just for good measure.

Life with kids is not the easiest, but there is nothing in the world I would trade for our three cuties, even if I do have a red face 65% of the time!